I grew up in church, but I can’t say I grew up in Jesus. Going to church on Sundays was just a Sunday thing, but it didn’t affect how I lived my life the other six days of the week. I knew about Christ, but I didn’t KNOW Him or have a relationship with him. I was a firstborn child and was always seeking approval from others. Other people‘s opinions of me mattered. I was always striving to be better and valued external validation. My worth came from other people’s opinions of me and not God’s opinion, which is the only one that matters.

I went through a divorce in 2005 and after that I was looking for a new church and was invited to a friend’s church. After a period of time I was invited to join a women’s Bible study. This got me to be in the word and read the Bible more routinely. I then got asked to join another women’s Bible study where I was surrounded by women who knew Jesus in a much deeper way than I did, I learned that Jesus wasn’t just a character in a story but that He was a real person who loved ME and made a sacrifice for all of my sins and poor choices. It became real to me that I mattered to Him. I also went on a mission trip to Haiti in 2016 and was completely out of my comfort zone. It was a life-changing experience. I realized how selfish I was and how I had an idol in my life that I never realized before, the idol of comfort. Watching people who had literally nothing go to church and praise God with a joy that I had never seen before was truly eye-opening. They sang and praised Jesus with a level of passion that I had never had before in my life, despite having so many THINGS. I was missing out on the best thing, Jesus! These are verses that God has used to significantly impact my life for eternity: John 3:16, Romans 5:8, Romans 8:38-39, 1 Peter 1:3-4, Hebrews 11:1.

There is now such a comfort and a freedom in knowing I don’t have to work to earn my salvation. That there’s nothing that I could ever do or ever will do that will earn that, it’s only by Christ’s sacrifice on the cross. It’s all because of his work and nothing that I have done. Now when I go through trials, I feel I have much less anxiety and worry because I know that God is in control and that nothing will happen outside of his plan. It allows me to be a bit more calm in the midst of the storms of life. Psalm 46:10 says “Be still and know that I am God” I remind myself of this verse frequently. Proverbs 3:5-6 is a verse I keep at my desk at work as a daily reminder to not lean on my own understanding, but to trust God in all situations. I can truly say since my relationship with Christ, I am much more at peace and I don’t let things bother me to the degree that they would have several years ago. I’m just glad I have Jesus, there’s such a comfort in knowing Him. There are times in life when satan just wants to get in my head and try to make me believe that I’m unworthy, but I know in my heart Christ has forgiven me and loves me unconditionally. There’s nothing better than that!